Intro :G D7 G C/G G C/G G C/G G C/G G
Well I tD7/4ook me a woman late last night
I was three-fourths drunk she looked alrGightC/G G C/G G
'Til she D7/4started peelin' off her onion-gook
She took off her wig an' said "How do I lGook?"C/G G
I was hC/Gigh-flyin'G C/G G
Bare-nC/Gaked G C/G G
Out the wC/GindowG D7 C/G G C/G G
Well sD7/4ometimes I might get drunk
Walk like a duck and sC/Gmell like a sGkunk
Don't D7/4hurt me none it don't hurt my pride
'Cause I got my little lady right by my sGide C/G G
She's-a tC/Gryin' to hiGde C/G G
Pretendin' sC/Ghe don't know mGe C/G G C/G G C/G G
I's D7/4out there paintin' on the old woodshed
When a can of black paint it fell on my hGead C/G G
D7/4I went down to scrub and rub
But I had to sit in bC/Gack of the tGub C/G G
Cost a qC/Guarter G
Half-price C/G G C/G G C/G
Well my tD7/4elephone rang it would not stop
It's President Kennedy callin' me uGp C/G G
He said "D7/4My friend Bob what do we need to make the country grow?"
I said "My friend John Brigitte BardGot C/G G
Anita EC/Gkberg G C/G G
Sophia LC/Goren G C/G G
Country-O-C/GGrow" G D7 C/G G C/G G C/G G
Well ID7/4 got a woman four feet short
She yells and hollers and sC/Gcreams and sGnorts C/G G
She D7/4tickles my nose pats me on the head
Rolls me over and kC/Gicks me outta bGed C/G G
She's a mC/Gan-eateGr C/G G
MC/Geat-grindGer C/G G
Bad loser C/G G C/G G C/G G C/G G
Oh tD7/4here ain't no use in me workin' all the time
I got a woman who works hC/Gerself bGlind
Works D7/4up to her britches up to her neck
Writes me letters and sC/Gends me cGhecks
She's a hC/Gumdinger G C/G G
Folk C/GsingerG C/G G C/G G C/G G
D7/4Late one day in the middle of the week
Eyes were closed I was hC/Galf asGleep
I D7/4chased me a woman up the hill
Right in the middle of an aC/Gir raid dGrillC/G G
I jumped the fC/Gallout sheltGer C/G G
I jumped the sC/Gtring-bean G C/G G
I jumped the TC/GV dinner G C/G G
I jumped the sC/GhotgunG C/G G C/G G
Now the mD7/4an on the stand he wants my vote
He's a-runnin' for office on a C/Gballot noGte
He's D7/4out there preachin' in front of the steeple
Tellin' me he loves all kC/Ginds of pGeopleC/G G
He's eatin' bC/Gagels G C/G G
He's eatin' pC/Gizza G C/G G
He's eatin' cC/GhitlinGs D7 C/G G C/G G C/G G
Oh I sD7/4et me down on the television floor
I flipped the channel on to nC/Gumber fGour
D7/4Out of the shower comes a football man
With a bottle of oil iC/Gn his hGand C/G G
Greasy kC/Gid stuffG C/G G C/G G
But what D7/4I want to know Mr. Football Man
Is what do you do about C/G Willy MGays? C/G G C/G G
Martin LutheC/Gr King?G C/G G
Oula TunjC/Gee? C/G G C/G G C/G G C/G G
Well the fD7/4unniest woman I ever seen
Was the great-granddaughter of Mr. CGleanC/G G
She takes D7/4about fifteen baths a day
Wants me to grow a mustache oC/Gn my fGace
She's iC/GnsaneG C/G C/G G C/G G C/G G
Well ya aD7/4sk me why I'm drunk all the time
It levels my head and eC/Gases my mGind C/G G
I just D7/4walk along and stroll and sing
I'll see better days and I'll dC/Go better tGhingsC/G G
I'll catch dC/Ginosaurs G C/G G
Make love to EC/Glizabeth TayloGr C/G G
Catch hell from C/GRichard BurtoGn C/G G C/G C/G G C/G G