IG pounded on a farmhouse lookin' for a place to stay
I said "HeCy hey in there is there anybody home?"
I was stanGdin' on the steps feelin' most alone
When ouDt comes a farmer he must have thought that I was nuts
He immedGiately looked at me and stuck a gun into my guts
IG fell down to my bended knees
He cocCked his rifle and began to shout
"Are you that traGvelin' salesman that I have heard about?"
I said "NDo no no I'm a doctor and it's true
I'm a cleGan-cut kid and I been to college too"
TGhen in comes his daughter whose name was Rita
I immediatCely tried to cool it with her dad
And tolGd him what a nice pretty farm he had
He said "WhaDt do doctors know about farms pray tell?"
I said "I was boGrn at the bottom of a wishing well"
WGell by the dirt 'neath my nails I guess he knew I wouldn't lie
I said "YeCs ten thousand miles today I drove"
He said "IG got a bed for you underneath the stove
JusDt one condition you can go to sleep right now
That you doGn't touch my daughter and in the morning milk the cows"
IG was sleepin' like a rat when I heard something jerkin'
SheC said "Would you like to take a shower? I'll show you up to the door"
I said "OhG no no I've been through this movie before"
I kneDw I had to split but I did not know how
When she saiGd "Would you like to take that shower now?"
WGell I couldn't leave unless the old man chased me out
I haCd to say something to strike him very weird
So I yeGlled "I like Fidel Castro and his beard"
RitaD looked offended but she got out of the way
As he camGe charging down the stairs sayin' "What's that I heard you say?"
IG said "I like Fidel Castro I think you heard me right"
RitaC mumbled something 'Bout her mother on the hill
As his fiGst it hit the icebox he said he's going to kill
MeD if I don't get out the door in two seconds flat
"You unGpatriotic Rotten doctor Commie rat"
WGell he threw a Reader's Digest at my head and I did run
And crCashed through the window at a hundred miles an hour
And laGnded fully blast in his garden flowers
RitDa said "Come back" and he started to load
The suGn was comin' up and I was runnin' down the road
WGell I don't figure I'll be back there for a spell
He stiCll waits for me constant on the sly
He wanGts to turn me in to the F.B.I
MeD I romp and stompings thankful as I romp
Without fGreedom of speech I might be in the swamp